realisations and changes

in my almost 6 months of having a non-income generating job, staying here at home, managing house hold chores, taking care of aquim, there are some realisations and changes that came to me:

1. i can do house hold chores. hehe. im not fond of doing it eversince. i was not domesticated. ngayon, i can do the laundry (washing machine, and aquim's clothes and our undies only), i can clean our house in jiff, i can iron clothes (aquim's only), tidy up the bed. tamad talaga ako dati. but now i can do those things na i hated to do before i had aquim. see... aquim does good to me.

2. i can be thrifty. money was no object for me. i believe that it has to be spent. be it for myself or others. kung yung iba nangangati ang kamay dahil magkakapera, ako dati, nangangati ang kamay para gastusin ang pera. before, ill spend and pay before thinking. thesedays, ill think first. and then think again. and then will not buy. har har har. atleast i know im helping out mother earth by consuming less.

3. humbling. it is a humbling experience. having no buying power means i have to be humble to ask for money. i have to be humble to check the tag price. i also have to accept what i can and cant do. i am used of not asking help from my parents. but now, i call them oftentimes just to help me out with aquim, usually during pupuching and bath time.

4. i can take a bath, fix my self in less than an hour. which used to be 2 hours.

5. bad hair day is everyday. need i say more?

6. i can be this selfless. i barely have time for myself. everything i do, i have to think of aquim. mula pagmulat ng mata, hanggang pagpikit at habang natutulog, si aquim lang. so you ask pano ko nagagawa tong blog, eto katabi ko si aquim. nagre wrestling kami kasi ang likot.

7. i can be this patient with aquim. and at the same time that impatient with jason. heheh. kawawa naman oh. wan ko ba. sa kanya yata navevent lahat ng pagod at frustrations.

minsan isip ko, kaya ko pala maging ganito. i know madami pang changes, i have to improve, to be better in almost all facets of being a wife (most specially) and a mother. daming pagbabago.

pag sinasabi kong i resigned, have to take care of my baby. dami nagtatanong baket? minsan tuloy naiisip ko masama ba ang ginawa ko? ang magresign to personally take our son? hinde ba noble ang ginawa ko? i should be working instead ?

naiisip ko din yun, lalo na pag nabubugnot na ko dito sa bahay, pag nag mo mall at ang themesong ko eh ang kanta ng yano (patingin tingin, di naman makabili). pag ang kulit kulit ni aquim. pag ang taba taba ng feeling ko. pero iniisip ko din, i am lucky that i have this chance to be with my son 24/7. to watch him grow. to be with him to witness all his 'firsts'. not everyone can do this. i may feel frustrated and fat, kawawa and and all, but hey someone else might be wishing she's on my shoes right now.

and i have to thank jason for that. he's shouldering all our expenses. and hinde naman siya nagkukulang. he provides us eveything that we need. siyempre yung mga luho ko, will have to take the backseat muna.

.