kwentong fx

kahapon, natuwa naman ako at madali akong nakasakay ng fx. as in hinde na ako naglakad, pagtawid ko, meron agad dumaan. so pinara ko siya. dun na ako napaupo sa gitna, dun ako sa likod ng driver.

so after mga 15 minutes, and mejo napuno na ang fx, i asked the mamang driver: "manong, wala na bang ilalakas ang aircon nyo?". feeling ko kasi, naiinitan kaming lahat ng pasaheros and wala lang gustong magtanong. yung katabi ko panay ang punas ng panyo sa mukha at leeg nya eh. alam mo ba ang sagot ng driver: "wala, kung gusto mo lumipat ka ng fx!".

aba pambihira noh... grabe. sobrang nashock siguro ako. hinde ako nakasagot. nagpupuyos ako sa galit pero hinde ako nakasagot. hinde ko kasi alam ang isasagot ko eh. ayaw ko makipag away sa driver eh. hmpf. inisip ko na lang, makakarma ka din loko ka. hmpf.

mahirap bang intindihin yun?

absent ako kahapon. and late na ko nagising. so hinde ako nakapagpaalam na ako ay absent. when he called me, i informed him that i am sick, i was bombarded with issues like my staff is waiting for me doing nothing. when i talked to my staff, staff told me that initially, he was waiting for me but then again he had the initiative na to start doing things and me ginagawa na nga daw sha. nevertheless i still promised that i will send the file if he needs it.

it's just good that there is computer rental/internet cafe just below our unit, so i asked my sisted to accompany me while sending the files. inaasar pa nya nga ako, kasi siya nakikipag chat sa pinsan namin while ako, busy sending files and making sure na nareceive properly, nagtatrabaho pa din daw.

around 2pm, i got a call again. asking me if hinde na ba ko papasok. gusto ko sana sabihin na, hello, alas dos na, bulagaan na, and you're still expecting na papasok ako? sabi ko eh hinde na po ako papasok. masama nga po ang pakiramdam ko. and then bigla nya ipinasok na me email ang isang client, me mga errors daw, na dati gumagana na, baket ngayon error na naman. you know, same old issues. and pano daw yung deployment plan ng isang client na ineexpect nya matatapos ngayon at marereview ko at isesend daw sa client. eh sabi ko, eh pasensya na po masama nga ang pakiramdam ko. so sabi pa din sha ng sabi na alam ko naman daw na tight ang schedule and gusto nya masubmit lahat. ganon. i asked him, gusto mo pumasok ako. hinde sha makasagot, aba at parang gusto pa ko talaga papasukin. fuck.

wan ko ba. ano ba ang mahirap intindihin sa "pasensiya na, masama ang pakiramdam ko"? pag ba sinabi ko sa kanya na "delayed-ako-at-baka-buntis-ako-ulet-kaso-natatakot-ako-kasi-the-past-few-days-hinde-ko-alam-kung-mahinang-period-lang-yun-or-spotting-na-at-baka-makunan-na-naman-ako", mas maiintindihan ba nya? mas maiintindihan nya ba na "pinapakiramdaman-ko-ang-katawan-ko-dahil-nahihilo-ako-pag umaga-at-hinde-ko-alam-kung-maganda-or-masamang-senyale- yun"? mas okay ba yun kesa sa simpleng "masama ang pakiramdam ko"? hinde nya na ba ko kukulitin? fuck.

ako, i can say naiintindihan ko siya. and feeling ko, he's just being unreasonably demanding. pero hinde ko alam if naiintindihan nya ko. magkaiba kami ng priorities. priority nya ang trabaho. ako, i work to live. i don't exist, i don't live just for work. kakayanin ko naman kung madelay yang mga projects. kung me mga errors pa yang isang yan at hinde pa naipapasa ang deployment plan. ako ba ang me gusto ng tight schedule? nagsusubmit na nga ako ng status update, nakaplot naman dun ang schedule and yet, ineexpect nya na matatapos pa din namin lahat sa time period na gusto nya? kulang na nga sa time, kulang pa sa resources. fuck.

he expects lang siguro that people around him would value our role, our job in the same manner that he does. pero people around him have other priorities. have other roles. have life other than our job. try to live a life outside your job. else, propose to your job, marry your job, fuck your job and have kids with your job.

kahapon pa to nangyari ha. and hinde ako nakatulog ng maayos dahil dito. ayaw ko sana pa affect, pero affected pa din ako. at hanggang ngayon naiinis pa din ako ha. fuck. naiinis ako kasi kung buntis nga ako, at nag spotting ako, leche. stress to. fuck. fuck talaga.

a girl and her shoes

yesterday, while j is still at the office, i went to the mall to buy dog food. on my way back to landmark, i passed by some shoe shops so i decided to look for shoes na din. i saw a couple of pairs that i like, 1 from francesco and 3 from bass. hayy... grabe, ganda ng mga shoes!i already bought a new pair last saturday, an australian slip-on mules from woman. kaso nga, i have this calluses on my soles and i find the shoes too hard for them. wearing it daily would do more harm than good. to cushion my soles and protect my feet, i should wear soft-soled shoes with socks more oftenly.franceco's costs 1550.00. while the ones on bass cost 4K, on the average, mas mahal pa sa bridal shoes ko. gosh. i told j about it and we'll be checking them out later. with a note that he thinks he also needs another pair. looks like somebody's going home with a new pair of shoes later. i want to buy shoes as often as i can. diba, it's nice to wear the the right shoes for every specific affair. kaso all i have are office shoes (usually black loafers), slip-ons for casuals, rubber shoes for sporty days, a strappy sandals (usually black din) for formal affairs, and slip-ons for super laid back days. we have a 4-level shoe rack dividedly equally for the two of us. as i can remember it now, here's what's inside our shoe rack (on the space provided for me): - australian black loafers (that badly needs mr.quickie)- australian flat bronze strappy sandals- australian flat tan soft slip-ons- celine tricolored thong slippers- our tribe brown leather thong slippers (that needs repair also)- australian 2-inch heeled strappy stiletto- black heeled strappy slip-ons- an old supposedly white tretorn- blue nike presto- a wooden bakyaand ... my solea bridal shoes, champagne-colored mulesso there. i think i need more pa diba, whatchutink?

.. bugged!

yup. i am. this thing has finally bitten me. blogging, that is. and i don't know if i should thank K or whack her for getting me into this. hehehehe.

frankly, i'm not really new to this kind of journal. i've been occassionally reading personal blogs 2 years ago and lately those wedblogs. wala lang, i am just curious (chismosa?) about somebody else's life. heheheh. some people kasi can really notice and write even the minutest detail of their life. so reading their entries make me feel like i am watching a soap or the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

anyways, since i've already been bugged, i decided that this virtual space that i've got should serve its purpose. this should be.... all about me! finally, my own kingdom! eheheheh.

this should be impressive. first, i need a title. ahhh... i want it to be really me. oh and i want it to be catchy. and witty. sexy and fun and interesting.. (be REALLY me huh? ) thought of putting published thoughts (bland), stripped (yay, might be mistaken as a porn site), nomad (nah, too deep). and guess what, spent two hours figuring what could be the apt title for my very first blog. duh! this has bitten me so harshly. but after searching the net, trying to "recycle" somebody else's title and pressing shift+f7 several times, don't know how i ended up with "i am".

but "i am" just said it all. what you can and will read in this is just all things about me. things that i like and i do, dreams that i wished and hoped for, people that i love and i hate, what i can and i can't but i think that should have, things i could have and i will. every little thing that i am.

so, after 3 hours and 297 words (who's counting?), i am through with my first blog entry and slowly getting the hang of it. not bad.

i will be back ... for more. for now, welcome, ME!